21 Comments

This is a stunning piece of writing.

Expand full comment

Dear Sistah

I understand. As I read my heart was full and I am grateful to you for the baring of your loss. It's been 649 days since my loss and this comment is my first "public" acknowledgement. As always, you are not only the "book smart" brilliant badass PhD who ain't afraid to wax eloquently and speak/write honestly about what really matters. Today, as I often do when I hear your voice, hear you--the gravesite is no place for the living as live we must, even as we mourn. But it's hard as hell, and getting out of bed, breathing, and functioning as a humyn is some serious business.

With love, and a special hard Black woman/sistah hug to you from me.

Expand full comment

Oh, what a beautiful and vulnerable piece of writing.i am a 70 year old white woman. I, too, feel despair. But/and, your writing reminds me that the despair of black women is very different.

Your description of your father appearing randomly is truly terrifying. Just like it is hard for me to comprehend that terror, it is difficult for me to see your deep sadness and despair.

Thank you for telling us what is for you to be fully YOU in the world. The sense of betrayal is massive.

Keep telling us the truth.

And take care of yourself and your black sisters - you are all AMAZING!

Expand full comment

Thank you, Professor, for expressing so clearly my turmoil. The death of the 20th century project hits hard.

Expand full comment

Re: feeling your efforts failed your mother when she died — consider your opponent.

Death.

It is simple fact: death ALWAYS wins. We are born to die. Our best hope is to delay.

You fought. You raged against the dying of the light.

No one, not even you of yourself, can ask for more.

Now, take the strength of your mother and let empower you to rage against the dying of the light in our country.

Perhaps we, as did your mother with your father, can rid ourselves of the current horror by willful resistance.

Expand full comment

Thank you for sharing this devastatingly beautiful description of your loss and our collective grief.

Expand full comment

Thank you for writing this. I ain't been able to find the words. These are the words.

Expand full comment

Every word B. Every grief stricken feeling that is shared leads us to collective courage and camaraderie to create the loving world/planet that must survive. Thankful for these years with your voice and mind and heart. For today and all the tomorrows ‼️

Expand full comment

Deep sigh… and Amen.

Expand full comment

Another hyper-vigilant daughter here who was terrorized in much the same way and I am still weeping from your words. You have captured it perfectly. It is impossible to build safety into a world like ours. When do we just get to live in gentleness?

Expand full comment

I keep trying to start this post with thanks and gratitude and then erasing what I've written because there aren't words suitable to address yours. But I am grateful for them and to share them with my college classrooms next week. Thank you.

Expand full comment

I went deep with you in this incredible piece, and literally could hear your voice as I have listened to Eloquent Rage multiple times on Audible on my own, and w/my young Black and Brown high school scholars. Thank you for all of this.

Expand full comment

Thank you for sharing Dr Cooper. I agree with Tobias. You are an amazing writer. I am sorry for all of it. I will try to do more. Peace be with you.

Expand full comment

i m a white girl looking around corners these days and actually identify with the terrible feeling of loss and feeling somewhat helpless about what to say or do. the candor of this piece is so human it manages to be uplifting whatever the color or creed. thank you!

Expand full comment

Thank you. You put words on so many vague feelings I've had. I've also buried a beloved mother, but hadn't connected the grief from the election to the death of the 20th Century Project. As you so perfectly said, all the hyper-vigilance, intelligence, education, and energy invested that weren't able to prevent such a death. And yet the living don't stay in graveyards. That is a powerful, profound image. Thank you.

Expand full comment

I join others in appreciating the power of your words and experiences.

Expand full comment