"I have been sexy since I was 15 years old." When I said the words to a homegirl and later to my therapist, it felt like an exhausted and pitiful epiphany. "I was sexy, but not pretty," I explained, remembering how the curves that suddenly appeared above and beneath my back had attracted the attention of men and women alike-- but not the attention I craved or wanted. I was constantly watched by men and surveilled by women. But I never felt seen, accepted, or like I belonged. The resentments went both ways.
Excellent commentary. I read Tarana Burke’s book “Unbound” and she talked about such similarities to body type, shame, feminine growth, and all of the confusing messages she received growing up. Thank you for sharing your own experiences. Really made me think think think!
“When my friends call me a baddie it is affirming because I know they are referencing the full spectrum of who I am as a person, not reducing me to a silhouette. When a stranger observes and says I am sexy it feels/falls flat—because I am so much more than just that.” Yes, sis! Thank you for sharing ✨
Excellent commentary. I read Tarana Burke’s book “Unbound” and she talked about such similarities to body type, shame, feminine growth, and all of the confusing messages she received growing up. Thank you for sharing your own experiences. Really made me think think think!
“When my friends call me a baddie it is affirming because I know they are referencing the full spectrum of who I am as a person, not reducing me to a silhouette. When a stranger observes and says I am sexy it feels/falls flat—because I am so much more than just that.” Yes, sis! Thank you for sharing ✨